ANA11

Friend of a friend writes: Nash, I have this friend who has recently lost is manhood
do to a domestic squabble, how do I help my “FRIEND” recover his manhood? How
do I tell him , “DON’T be a lay down”, everyone makes a mistake” I hate to see my
“FRIEND” become PUSSY WHIPPED !

Ummm, yer a guy right?? Just say, "Look ya weak-willed cumbucket! If ya keep
letting that Biotch walk all over you, then ya might as well buy her some comfortable
sneakers, so that she doesn't get a blister, you quivering mound of grabastic
amoeba shit!!!!" Cuz, if you don't take drastic measures, that's exactly whats gonna
happen. There are women out there that will run ya slap over if ya let em, and if your
enough of a "Special" Olympian to let em, then I say, sucks to be you dumb-ass.
Only lets little Asian women walk on his back...and occasionally stomp his
balls...because that's how he likes to roll sometimes OK!!?? Nash

Easy, try giving her change, instead of any $1's or $5's. She'll put her clothes back
on faster than you can say free clinic STD check. MY question is, why would ya want
her to put her clothes back on?? I mean, even if she's a fuckin Sea Hag, ya know ya
still gotta seem dem tittays, or are you just another fucking Communist??
Knows that every time Girls Girls Girls is played on the radio, a stripper gets her
wings...Nash

Well I'm Super!! Thanks for asking! Yes, it's true peeps. There has been 100 sick
and depraved Q&A's on here, and I hope for at least 73 more, before ya'll realize I
have no talent, and just like typing the word fuck alot. Now I say to you good day....I
SAID GOOD DAY!!!
Thinks it's great that people like him for the Evil fuckhole that he is...Nash

Well, just be sure not to let an ERUPTION loose in front of the class on her
POUNDCAKE, or you may have to JUMP down to PANAMA and become an ICE
CREAM MAN, to avoid angry parents.
Misses the Van Roth days very much...Nash

Deric Milligan writes: Dear Nash,
I’m here without you baby
but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
and I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby
but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight it’s only you and me
Love always, DM

OK, for those of you that aren't in this particular loop, Deric was my old highschool
band teacher for my Junior, and Senior years. Though he was an accomplished
musician, he was a total failure as a teacher. Students at that time, often came to
me, more so than him regarding halftime shows, or concerts we would have
coming up. I think maybe he meant well, and tried, but the stick in his ass,
prevented him from ever being able to NOT look down his nose at his students.
You see, he was from a wealthy family, and was a bit of a Fancy Lad. I'm sure the
shock of having to teach in Mulberry nearly killed his parents. Maybe he felt like
he could bring some much needed finesse to the school. Either way, He was just
too self-absorbed to really do anyone any good. As for my personal opinion. I
thought he was a stuck-up, bitch-ass, Little Lord Fauntleroy, that was way overdue
for a much needed Prison ass-raping with Tuba.
Remembers all those bus trips to football games, and watching the girls change
clothes on the bus...oh yes...I was watching....I was always watching.....MWAHAHA
Nash

Infinite Vagina power eh? WTF does that mean?? Does that mean your like a
bottomless pit, that someone would need to tie a board to their ass to keep from
falling into your gaping maw? Or, does it mean, that your pussy is endowed with a
type of Super strength, that would grind poor hapless penis's into dust? Either
way, to answer your question, Hells ya I want a piece of you! Hehe, I'm not scared.
That's like asking Cartman if he wants Cheesy Poofs, ya silly Super-twat.
Gonna have to ask his man Satan about endowing him with a Kate Beckingsale.
Nash

Dr.Vern writes: Hey Nash, Congrats of the 100 milestone, I thought of this one
while i was enjoying some "recreational time". If you lined up people in a straight
line around the world and then all of them started walking in place in the same
direction, would the earth spin like a treadmill? would we go back in time? (like
Superman)

Yes, I believe that with enough speed, rotation, and world-wide cooperation, that
we would be able to take the Earth back in time....or we would throw off the Earth's
rotation utterly, thereby guaranteeing the extinction of the human race, as we
would hurdle into the heat of the Sun, or the cold void space. Either way, it would
be really fuckin cool to watch. =)
Would only wanna go back in time far enough, to where Saturday morning
cartoons didn't suck....I miss you Optimus Prime. Nash

If you needed the damn Pepsi that bad, why didn't ya just work out your Pimp-hand
and take the fucking Pepsi. This is less a question, and more like a goddamn
Pepsi commercial that someone from their Promotions dept. sent in. What's next?
Someone from Chewlies gum gonna send me a question bashing smokers, telling
my readers to buy Chewlies gum to suppress their Nic-fixes? This shit just isn't
gonna fly....especially since no one is paying me or KSV anything to promote this
shit! Hell, especially KSV, he does all the work, I'm just a Shady Italian with a
computer that has nothing better to do.
This has been brought to you by Peppermint Patties. Whenever your hungry, and
want the sensation of getting a blow-job from an Eskimo, enjoy a nice refreshing
Peppermint Patty. Nash

It all boils down to human nature itself. We as the human race are always
competing, whether on a conscious, or subconscious level. By being ranked
higher than other people, although it has no fucking bearing on the outside world
at all, a person gets a false sense of being better than some of his fellow man.
You could have a Top 100 on Myspace, and you would still get people jockeying
for position like some twisted fucking horse race. I'll say this too, if your life
revolves around being on someones 8's, Top 24's or whatever the fuck Top
number that it happens to be, you should buy a gun, load it up, and practice
catching bullets with your teeth.
Knows the only reason that he's on anyone's Top 8 is because of this column...and
because he has an enormous penis =) Nash

Tom writes: I'm assuming I need no introduction. If you know who a small timer
like Nash is, surely you know the man who made Myspace. Thanks for making me
richer than God, you fucking gullible assed retards! Oh, and since I need a
question: KSV, when are you gonna get a real website, loser?

Tom, Tom, Tom....you sad little man. First off, KSV has more talent in the tip of his
penis, than you have in your entire small intestine. Second, I love being small
time. It means the fans I do have, are loyal, and I don't have to worry about all the
big-time bullshit. I likes it that way. Lastly..if were the losers....why the fuck did
your "rich" ass, have to create a website to gain friends? Most of us that use
Myspace are just bumping into old friends that we have lost touch with. Your the
goddamn loser that had to create a website that automatically adds you as a
friend. If your truly, that much of a lost cause, that you had to resort to "forced"
friendship, then please, do the world a favor, and fucking "delete" yourself, from
the Top 8 of the planet.
Thinks Tom just needs to see a grown woman naked, Nash

secret admirer writes: Well, its been hard for me to admit this... but here goes. I
have to tell you that I am in love with your sweaty, hairy, italian, elven ninja ass...
please have dirty, nasty, freaky sex with me.....please?

Mom?...nah couldn't be, she doesn't know I'm a ninja yet...haven't quite figured
out how to break it to her. Well, I'm very flattered, but I don't get the sweaty part.
I'm definitely all the rest, but it's very rare that I sweat. I am greasy though...if my
hair gets to close to an open flame, you'd see the real-life version of Ghost Rider
running around. But to answer your question...sure, why not. Just gotta get
permission from my wife...and that should be no trouble at all......hmmm...but what
if your a guy that wants a piece of my mangina...I'm no longer young, or need the
money...so if your a dude, I'm gonna have to pass.
The dirtiest, nastiest, freakiest, adjective-iest around, Nash

Joe Musashi writes: Did you never notice there are "Butt-Pirates" but no
"Butt-Ninjas"? That knowledge more than makes up for the fact that there are no
football teams named after us in my opinion. Still, what do you think of the "Miami
Fuumas"?

Excellent name, but it'll never happen. Ninjas just weren't meant for
sports...really, think about it. How could you tackle someone ya couldn't even
see? How could ya kick a soccer ball, with a smoke bomb exploding in your face?
How could you fence, Foil vs Katana? Nope, sorry friend, it'll never happen.
Although, I could see a "San Fransisco Butt-Pirates" team.
Kicking little old ladies down stairs, one at a time, Nash