ANA16

no need to know my name writes: there's this guy i really care about he's a few years
older than me and we have dated in the past now i still like him and i want him back
and i've told him. somtimes when we're together it's seems like he wants the same
things i do but then sometimes it seems like he just wants to be friends what should
i do?

You should fuck em. As we all know, friends come and go, but ass is forever. Or
mebe it's the diseases from the ass that lasts forever....nonetheless, I have no soul,
and really couldn't tell ya what to do, because it doesn't matter in the end. Have fun,
try not to get locked up, then die. Trust me, do what ya can now, and don't dwell on
woulda, coulda, shoulda's. Or do dwell, I could give a flying fuck =)
Feeling especially dickish for some reason. Nash

Ok #1, I give 2 shits if you ask me anything, and #2 I know your using the word
credentials as code for my penis, and no you can't see it....unless you pay, like
everyone else.
Silly Tom, Nash's dick is for chicks. Nash

I'm not telling my name to a machine writes: Is there more that just 3 people that
write to you on this stupid ASK NASH ? I mean , if you are not into video games, pot
, or high school what the fuck ? Im sticking to my space... At least there the drama
is REAL ! Sorry...

Yes there are more than 3 people that write to me. There's at least 4 or 5. And if
your not into video games, pot, or reminiscing about High School....there's
something wrong with you....oh, and for the record. FUCK MYSPACE IN IT'S DIRTY
LITTLE SHIT-HOLE!!....yes, I said it.Don't get me wrong. I have my very own page. I
just get sick of having to fucking hear about it, in every other fucking sentence
spoken.
Kinda likes the ring of Nashspace.... Nash

NOT MCSean writes: Nash, Have not written in awhile... I have a friend of a friend
whom is so caught up in the GAME world that they would rather pay for the
NEWEST game for the WEE or M-box 420 that they miss there phone bill or car
payment ! How can I help this person? I mean I know that a good family life, when
they were growing up would keep them on the right path, oh wait, "there was
none" sorry. I want to help my friend really ! It's like a drug habit ! I mean I hear
next year they are coming out with a game console that you can stick your penis in
and have sex, oh wait, I think thats the WEE, never mind...

Well, I'll be glad to inform you that EVERY video console can be fucked, thank you
very much. I personally cannot, because of my enormous penis, but Prime Time
informs me that it is quite enjoyable.
Apologizes for the shot at P.T....but there's only so much fun ya can make at
Smallville's expense. Nash

Joseph writes: Nash, I have never written to you before. I have a quick question,
Where have MC SEAN & Lois Lane been as of late ? We were regulars at Martini's
and they have not been there for awhile..

Ummm, maybe it's because....believe it or not...our lives don't revolve around
Martini's. This may come as a bit of a shock, but there's a whole fucking world out
there. Full of fun shit like midgets, balloons, and snuff films. Granted the place has
it's nicer qualities, but it can get old after awhile. For instance, take something
yummy like Golden Grahams, or 16 year old hookers. If that's all ya could have for
years, no matter how yummy they are, eventually you burn out....or mebe I killed
Lois, and have MC Sean chained under my desk, giving me head, in exchange for
food.....the world may never know.
Realizes that he's answering questions slower these days...and yet he doesn't
give a shit. Nash

Which ever dress is crumpled up at the foot of my imaginary bed, ya sexy piece of
animated ass you. Hmmm, does masturbating to a 2-dimensional character make
me a freak, or the fact that I like having a grown man stomp on my balls during the
process make me a freak...the world may never know.
The freakiest Ninja, the world has ever known. Nash

Elias writes: Umm ok so like my girlfriend Myra and I were talking about having sex
and before we did it I wanted to get some advice and stuff. I was surfing the web
for a good LOTR fan site and I don't know how I found this site but I thought I would
ask you, see my friend Randall just laughed at me when I asked him so I'l ask you,
would you know how to get rid of Pillowpants? He's Myra's pussy troll, I need to get
rid of him so when I stick my thing in her he won't be able to bite it off. Any advice
would help. Thanks,
Elias

Ahhh, the fabled pussy-troll. This one's easy enough. All ya gotta do, is take a
baseball bat, sharpen the end of it, doesn't matter which. Then all ya gotta do, is
ram that bat into her twat, swirl it around, while still doing the jamming motion, and
that should take care of any critters she may have, as well as provide you with
some new found lubrication =)
Fighting the good fight against pussy Trolls everywhere, Nash

Keith Courage writes: Last week a buddy says to me, "Sometimes I like to sit on my
hand till it goes numb, then I masturbate with it. I call it "The Stranger"." Now my
point in bringing this up is that I've been flogging the bishop with pins and
needles for the last five years, and I know I wasn't the one who invented the
stranger. Why do so many people claim it? I know you've heard that speech, too!
Nobody ever claims they invented the punch-you-in-the-mouth rimjob!Signed,
Keith Courage, the guy that invented chilidogging.

Well, I prefer to use an actual stranger's hand. By that I mean, I like to find a
homeless person, lure them back to my van with promises of a ham sandwich and
beer. Then I stick an ice pick right behind their ear, ya know, the sweet spot. At that
point, I cut off their left hand, dump the body in a local pond, and begin to give
myself a special "stranger".
Don't judge me, till ya try it. Nash

Uwe Boll writes: Know mine name und fear me, stupid Americans! It is I, Uwe Boll, ya!
I haf takin interest in your movie, Das Christmas ein Slam EviL! In fact, I like it so
much, mine studio vill make it first. Mwa ha ha! I vill cast Erik Estrada as Mike und
Dom Deluise as ze evil Quidget! But don't vury, Nash, your character vill be played by
Jean-claude Van Damme! I know how you Americans love ze Van Damme! It vill be
gud, ya? Now I'm off to ruin ze next movie by X-strike Studios, ze generic Slam EviL!

Ok, first off, take the cock outta yer mouth, because I had to get an English to
Cock-mouth dictionary just to decipher what you just said. Second, you may try and
copy the movie were making, but ya won't have KSV as your genius director, nor will
you have HALF the kick-ass cast that we have. Let's not forget, above all things, Van
Damme's penis is much too small to portray me accurately...least that's what your Von
Daddy schnitzel says.
Doesn't resent all Germans, hell, they make some of the best bakers, and plumbers
on earth....let's see who can figure that one out. Nash

omfg....haven't we been through this already. I'm pretty sure if ya check out the
archives, we established I'm the one and only Nash. You may share my name, but
that's pretty much it, ya baby-fucking retard. Oh, and just for the record, "or Else's"
don't have as much effect on me, as ya would probably hope. I'm sooooo not afraid to
die, and I've had my ass kicked on more than one occasion,due to my stubborn
inability to not shut up when I'm clearly outmatched. So umm, to dust off an old
chestnut if I may, go fuck yourself =)
May get his ass kicked, but Ninja always comes back for more....especially if it's all ya
can eat. Nash

buttercup writes: I realize this forum is usually crazy fun, is there any space for some
serious thoughts? Where are some of the old karaoke addicts;what would
professionals like vern and angel like to hear from some of their
regulars(songs);how does one keep going when you just feel like quitting; fun is
good but what about those of us who are lacking in the whoopee yahoo fun
department; and can you really believe aliens aren't behind some of the new rap
music?

Well, I tell ya. Vern loves hearing "Picture" by Kid Rock, I'd even bet he masturbates
to it in the bathroom at Martini's when it's being sung. So be sure and sing that song
as often as possible. As far as the regulars are concerned, time changes everything.
People go, but new people come. It's like when ya take a really big it. You may spend
3 hours on the toilet, but after a couple of days, your full of shit again.
OH!, as far as new rap music is concerned. I enjoy some of the newer stuff, Sean
Paul, DMX, and so on, what I don't like is the repetitive shit of Paul Wall, or whoever
does that Laffy Taffy bullshit. I like rap songs, with actual lyrics, not some
monotonous sampling, or the same fucking catch-phrase over and over. I like my shit
with a little thought behind it...and yes, they are all aliens.
Doesn't rap because he's a player hater. Nash