ANA3

Ahhhh...religious theology. I've got my own little spin on things, that may shed some
light on the great Adam vs Dinosaur debate. Who's to say that Adam and Eve
weren't dinosaurs themselves? I mean really, we don't know for a fact what they
looked like. All we have to go by is some paintings, that were down hundreds of
years ago. The Bible clearly states that God created Man, in his own image. So
who's to say that God doesn't resemble some sort of Tyrannosaurus Rex. Think
about it. Picture a little 'Raptor Adam, chasing Triceratops Eve around the tree of
knowledge. And lets say that through millions of years of evolution, we are where
we are now. In the end, it boils down to 3 things. Either you believe Ancient
Christian mythology, Darwin's little page turner, or an amalgam of the 2, joined in
perfect harmony. Either way it's a moot point. All of this is just a figment of some
small alien child's dreams, and once it wakes up, the world is going to end.Oh, and
just to let ya know. I don't worship Satan....though I do listen to a lot of the things he
tells me.
Your Jurassic Jesus, Nash

OK....really...this is the best ya can come up with for a question??.."sigh"..Oh
fucking well. Not like Ive got better things to do anywho...The answer to you
question is simple Fecal. Corn and and peanuts, though very rarely, are
sometimes laced with Adamantium. Whether it be the water used on the plants, or
something in the fertilizer, these freaks of the plant world sometimes develop a
thin coat of Adamantium on their surface. Not only that, but it seems to only coat
individual kernels and peanuts!!?? And as we all know, Adamantium is the single
most indestructible material on the planet, which explains it's safe journey from
mouth to poop shoot. Now if you'll excuse me, I feel a Wolverine coming on.
Dripping sweat, with one leg shaking, Nash

I haven't heard about any Burger Kings closing around here....strange you would think that
Burger King executives would seek my guidance on such matters....Anywho, no I don't know
about any closings going down, but it does make sense. I mean, think about it. Haven't you been
watching the new Burger King commercials? Hell, he breaks into people's houses, and gets in
bed with them. He also seems to like to run out onto professional football fields, while games are
in progress!!?? Shit, his court costs, and attorney's fees alone must be enough to make even Bill
Gates blush. So I could understand if a couple of the joints would have to close, due to the King
thinking he's above the law. Downsizing happens to the best of us...chances are though, that if
your over the age of 20 and still working at Burger King, you probably were never gonna be one
of the best of us anyways.
The One True King, Nash

Ahhhh, the great Tire Swing/asshole debate. Yet another quandary almost as old as time
itself....well as old as tires have been around anyways. Some would say that the resemblance is
purely visual, but I have another theory. I live in Florida, which, safe to say, is far from the
Mason-Dixon line. Down here we have a very special breed of person. I think in scientific terms
they would be called Redus Neckus, but we generally use the abbreviation "Redneck". This
special breed of people are VERY protective of the local tire swings down here. Often you will
find them clustered together around a tire swing, drinking beer, throwing racial slurs, and
beating their wife and children usually. These tire swings tend to be near a creek, or a pond, so
that the Redneck gets to show off their legs in cut-off shorts. They will take turns goading each
other to take more daring, and risky maneuvers with the tire swing, in hopes that when they
land, it will be in the water. Fortunately, this doesn't happen very often, thereby crippling, and
killing of a few of their herd. So there really is a God. In the end, the tire swing is what ya make
of it. Sure it looks like an asshole sometimes, but is it really the swing, or the jackass's using it?
Besides, just because something looks like a part of the human anatomy, that doesn't mean it
has to be seen/used in that context. I mean, just because I can mold Playdough(tm) to look like a
vagina, doesn't mean I'm gonna fuck it....who the fuck am I kidding...of course I'd fuck it.
Teaching the Tire Swings of the world who's boss, Nash

SKELETOR writes: Greetings, Mortal! It is I, Skeletor, ruler of Eternia!Your question answering
antics amuse me, so I will allow you a chance at greatness. Answer this question, and if I am
satisfied with your answer, I will allow you to become one of my minions. (although that means
changing your name to either Nashman or Nashor. Rules are rules.) Fail, and I will destroy your
pathetic kingdom of Mulberry! Now for the question. It is an old one indeed, but has yet to be
answered. If a tree falls in the woods and no one's around to hear it, does it make a sound?

Nashor....kinda like the ring of it. Seriously though, that is an excellent question. To seek out
the answer, I sought the aid of a deaf man....well, to be honest I just went to the local Hearing
Impaired clinic and kidnapped a deaf guy...damn that van has become useful...but I
digress.You see, my reasoning was, if a deaf man was in the forest when the tree fell, he
would be able to record any sounds, and not be able to hear it himself, therein he wouldn't be
violating the rules. What rules you may ask? Fuck if I know, I just follow em. Once we were in
the forest, I handcuffed his feet, and left arm together around a tree, thereby leaving his right
arm free to push any buttons on the recorder. I then drilled a hole in the tree, and placed a
small quantity or plastic explosives in the hole. Once the detonator was set, I then put quite a
bit of distance between me, and the forest. After I felt I was a safe distance away, I set off the
detonator. Some time had gone by, and I thought that it would be safe to head back. Once
there, I had realized my error. Perhaps I should have picked a different tree, than the one I had
tied my ever-so helpful subject to.Silly me =) Looking back, I believe my subject was trying to
warn me, about my slight miscalculation, but in all reality, who can understand an overexcited,
screaming , sobbing, deaf guy. I did manage to find the recorder. It was only slightly damaged,
being cushioned by my subjects organs I would guess. When I played it back, I had to sit
through 10 irritating minutes of deaf-guy chatter, then BOOOM, but in the end, I distinctly
heard a thud. Whether it was the tree, or deaf guy's head returning form orbit, who's to say,
but as an expert on what body parts sound like when they hit the ground, I'm gonna say it was
the tree. There ya have it. It does make a sound. So the next time your alone in the woods, and
you think you hear the muffled sounds of a deaf man, it would probably be in your best interest
to leave.
P.S. I wouldn't worry about destroying Mulberry...the Mines closing will see to that.
Glad he's not deaf, or work for the Mines, Nash

Well J, I think I know the root of your problem. See, here in Polk County, Fl. We have an over
abundance of what I like to call Near-deads.They are people that are over the age of 65, can
barely see over the steering wheel, and Insist on driving 40 in the left hand lane on a posted
65 road.I cant tell you how many times I've watched the news, and seen a family of 4 get
chilled out in an accident, while the 90yr old mummy that generally caused the accident walks
away to live for maybe another 6 months. Oh, and I swear, with all my little black heart, that if I
hear about another Near-dead mistaking the gas for the break one more goddamn time I'm
flooding the nearest Bingo Hall's ventilation system with anthrax.I doubt the state will ever
take any initiative to do anything about it, so here's what you can do.Buy yourself a really
fucked up, horrid mask. The next time your caught behind a Near-dead, be patient. Wait for
you both to come to a red light. Now all you gotta do is get outta your car, run up to the
driver's side window of the Near-dead, and scare the living shit outta them. Chances are,
such an unforeseen scare will probably give our little Methuselah a heart attack. Last time I
checked, never heard of anyone going to court because they scared the shit outta someone.
It's not Road Rage, if you ENJOY running people over, Nash