ANA4

Ummm...dunno. Doggystyle.com maybe? HAHAHA....No, but seriously, I have a theory.
Could it be, that he just went for a neighborhood Bitch stroll, struck out with all his
little Doggy hoes, and then returned home to...how you say, "vent" his frustration on a
number of quality doggy-porn sites. How it would be able to type is beyond me
though, of course if a cripple can find a way to use a computer, I'm sure a dog could
too.Damn, that wasn't very PC of me, let me retract the word cripple. Instead let's go
with Crybaby-Really-Is-Pussy, or C.R.I.P. for short. OK, now that's outta the way, on with
the dog. So you see, if a C.R.I.P. can find a way to type with either it's tongue, or
genitals, it makes perfect sense that a dog would someday be able to type, especially
a dog that has use of ALL of it's limbs. Besides, as we all know, dogs are smarter than
C.R.I.P.'s, they go outside to shit, rather than shit on themselves. Hope I was of some
small help, time to go check out Doggystyle .com now....
Knows his bus ride to Hell is gonna be a short one, Nash

Dammit Jim, I'm a Columnist, not a Mortician!...OK, now that Ive whored myself out to
all the Trekkies out there, lets answer the fucking question. Do I think Elvis is dead,
yes. It's not like the Loch Ness Monster, or Bigfoot, where we only have myths, and
blurry photos. There was a fucking dead, bloated body, seen by hundreds of
witnesses. Why some sad little people in the world refuse to believe this is beyond
me. I mean Hell, he was a fucking Pedophile for fuck's sake. Everyone seems to forget
that little tid-bit of information. Priscilla was somewhere round 15-16, when they
started seeing each other, and when my daughter hits 16, I don't give a Flying Chuck
Norris Fuck who you are, if your over the age of 17, and you try to date my daughter, I
will cut off your fucking nut sack, punch 2 holes in it, and wear like it like some sort of
Bloody, vein-covered Halloween mask. Ask my friends, I'm a sick fuck, and am apt to
do it, for shits and giggles anyways. So yes, the King is dead, and I'm glad. Just one
less pedophile in the world. And yes...I said it.
Thinks Priscilla is 10 times hotter than Lisa Marie, Nash

Well of course there's Ninja porn, but it isn't called that. It's called Hentai. I already have the answer
to your next question,"Nash?? What the fuck is a Hentai???". Simple, Hentai is the Asian answer to
Ninja porn, it's just done with cartoons instead of real people. On these cartoons, they usually have a
female ninja, that for some odd reason has the ability to fuck her way out of any situation, or has a
male ninja that can't seem to accomplish his mission, until he has fucked everyone woman in the
village.Then there are the tentacles....Ive never understood the significance of these tentacled
creatures, that seem to be in EVERY Hentai movie. By that I mean, there always seems to be at least 1
scene where a busty, purple-haired girl is raped by a hundred or so octopus like tentacles. My only
theory is that Asians are somehow making up for the fact, that they are hung like an infant that
smokes crack, and does steroids, by showing unbelievably long, thick, tentacle-like penis's, ravage a
young girl's every orifice. Either way, it makes for some damn fine viewing. So just make a run for the
Hentai section at your local video store, or do like every other sweaty, virginal, 40 year old man is
doing, and just download it. I know I do.
Konichiwa Bitches, Nash
P.S. My Ninja clan would sooooo kick the shit outta yours.

Chances are, it's one these 2 things. Your either incredibly repulsive to look at, but have a decent
personality or Your a somewhat attractive guy, but have that "Nice guy" stigma attached to you. Now
the first one can only be fixed by extensive plastic surgery, and seeing as how I'm only licensed in
Mexico, and certain alleyways in New York, I can do you no good here in that aspect. But I can help
you, if it's the latter. You see, women throughout history have always been attracted to the "bad
boy" image. Shit, just look at cavemen. The women would always go for the one that cracked them
on the head the hardest, with the biggest club. Only today, you can't literally hit them with a
club...well, maybe if they burn the eggs, but that is it.You have to become a cocky asshole. Women
seem to flock to the guy that talks the most shit, flashes the most bling, and goes on and on, about
how many hours he can pleasure a woman. The ladies hate the weak-willed, always says yes, can
sympathize with every female emotion guy. If they wanted that, they would just become a lipstick
lesbian, and sign off on dick. So get out there, rent a limo, lie about how much money you make,
pick a fight with a smaller guy, and score you some women! Remember, the only way to score pussy,
is by not being a pussy yourself.
Riding in an H3, counting stacks of hundreds with a 13in dick, Nash

So let me get this straight...Your wife's pussy is scratching your genitalia in your sleep, and your
wife won't let you kill it...Discretion is the better part of valor in this particular scenario. Obviously
the pussy is ignorant to your words, so you cant tell it to stop with promises of an acting part, or
taking it shopping. But that doesn't mean that the pussy is immune to some persuasion. Try
stroking the pussy, caressing the pussy, even burying your face into the hairy pussy. It's been my
experience that most pussy becomes docile, hell, even comatose in some occasions. So just show
the pussy some love and understanding, as you have already learned, no one enjoys a cranky
pussy. If all else fails though, just pour some anti-freeze on your genitals, then you can really enjoy
the pussy....
Running out of witty things to sign off with, Nash

KSV mockingly writes: Nash, can you tell me where the "ANY KEY" is on a computers key board? I
have been looking for this key to press for almost a year now. What the HELL ! Theres Esc, Tab,
Ctrl, Cap Locks, BUT NO ANY KEY ! I also wouldn't know a cliche if it blew me in front of my mother!
PLEASE HELP !

Wow....twins separated at birth, or just a fucked up coincidence...kooky. OK, believe it or not, my
computer knowledge isn't all that vast. In fact, if you were to every see me type, you would think
that I was an epileptic monkey fucking a football. Fortunately for you guys, I've got the answer to
this one. The Any key is not actually just one key. You must press the a-n-y keys at the same time.
It took me months to figure it out, when I had the same problem as you guys. It's not the only
combination of keys strokes that produce an effect though. If you hit F6, 6 on the keyboard, and 6
on the Num Pad, it transports you to a mystical land of lava, sulfur, and gang-rape by thousands of
demon-like creatures. Of course, as we all know, me and Lucifer have an understanding, so it
might not work for everyone. So the next time you 2 crazy cats have some free time, try out some
different combinations, you never know what ya could find. Be careful though...I hit the
R.I.C.H.keys at the same time, and lost my job....
Typing like old people fuck, Nash

Southern Land Man: Nash, I have a small 2 gallon fish aquarium I want to sell, how much do you
think I can get for it? It has one fish named ROBERT and a dead fish named Jen Son. It’s practically
NEW! The only problem is it smells like a dead turtle. Should I sell it or just flush the fish? On a
totally un related subject, how do I tell an old high school friend that I am not interested in dating ?

OK, first step is ya gotta get the dead fish outta the tank..., cook it, trash it, cram it in your
anus...just get it outta the tank...damn thing must smell like a high school feminine product
wastebasket by now. Next step is not exactly Rocket Scientistry, just wash the tank out...I would
remove the living fish first, but that's just me. A tank that size should probably score ya a few
bucks. Oh, on the unrealted subject part of your question, just tell them you have a Raging STD,
so in other words, just be honest with them =)
Thinks if it smells like fish, and tastes like fish, then it must be a pussy, Nash

Smartass ehh...OK, the answers are Baptist Snake Dancers, Because, and finally, depending on
how you spent your life, your reincarnated into either a Supermodels Thong, or a Magnum
Condom that's residing in a Turkish Bath house. This is usually the part where I explain my
answers, but judging from the way you asked the questions, I'm gonna assume your a Dick.
So...um, go fist a goat.
Maybe I am a Smartass, but I control the Answers, Nash

Luigi writes: It's-a me, Luigi! My brother is having serious problems with his girlfriend, Princess
Toadstool. He's had to rescue her many times from Bowser, and lately I've realized that she is
allowing herself to be kidnapped, all to fulfill her selfish little knight-in-shining-armor fantasy.
Should my brother give up, or should he continue to be this bitches little Goomba?

Hey, if your bro is content with getting Bowser's sloppy seconds, let em. You can only show
someone the truth, and then let them decide on what's the best course of action.Or, if your really
adamant about helping your brother, you can wait until the Princess and Bowser get together
again. Taser the shit outta them, until they lose consciousness, and then the real fun begins.
Take the unconscious Princess and tie her, spread eagle on a bed. Then construct a bladed,
mean-ass looking penis-type apparatus, and attach it to Bowser's genitals. Once the pieces are
in place, kidnap one of Bowser's kids, and place a .45 barrel against it's head. When everyone is
awake, and having one of those "WTF" moments, just calmly explain to Bowser, that if he doesn't
go Balls-Deep into the Princess, your gonna turn his kid's head into a modern art masterpiece.
Then let the hilarity unfurl. Of course, once the deed is done, you'll have to put a bullet in both
Bowser, and his kid, cant have any witnesses ya know. I'd start with the kid, that way you cut out
the hero factor, when Bowser is staring in shock. Then, a little gasoline, and a Zippo to handle
the clean-up, and your good to go. Finally, you and your newly single bro can start hitting the
club scene, hell, fix him up with Chun-Li, I hear she puts out.
Thinks the Movie "Seven" is way underrated, Nash

You can't. The freeway has been over-run with those things. Your best bet is to go the mall, and
try to sort things out. Look out!, one of em just jumped you, from inside one of the stores. That's
OK, because you took out your trusty 45, and blew it's head off. uh-oh, looks like more people
have made the same decision as you. Best to stay close to them, always safety in numbers. Damn,
one of em was bitten, it wont be long till he's turned into one of them. Blam!!, you did the right
thing, he had to be put down...he didn't want to be one of those things. Shit!!!, a motorcycle gang
has smashed they're way inside, and are looting everything that you worked so hard to get!! You
take out as many gang members as you possibly can, while avoiding the zombies at the same
time. The gang retreated!!!, but damn!!! One of the zombies managed to take a bite outta your left
arm...You know what you must do......
Hope you enjoyed mini-Dawn of the Dead, Nash