ANA6

Shao Khan writes: Greetings, mortal. I am Shao Khan, ruler of Outworld! You have
been invited to represent your realm in Mortal Kombat. Already your mightiest
warriors, Adam West and George W. Bush, are preparing to fight for Earthrealm, but I
feel the tournament needs a few more pallette swapped ninjas to fill the roster. Don't
dissappoint me.

Well, I feel I must warn you. I am an Elven Ninja, with literally minutes of combat
experience. If you think that I am lying, check out the Movie Clips section of
Slamevil.com. There are no stunt actors, that's all me baby, in all my Ninja glory. I would
be proud to represent Earth, standing along such noble allies such as Adam, and
George. Of course, once all was said and done, I would of course have to kill them
both...Not because it would serve some greater purpose, it's just what makes my
nipples hard. So beware Outworld Bitches....for something wicked your way comes....
*steps into the Mystical Portal which just appeared, Nash

After making several phone calls to some large Hot dog manufacturers, I discovered
that it's actually almost religious in nature. According to what they call, the
Wienernomicon, a Hot dog casing can only contain 6 ground up toenails, and only 2
minced Pig anuses. Holding true to their beliefs, hot dog producers revere the Holy
8, by only packaging them in groups of 8. Now on the flip side of this coin are the
bakers. Back during the great war between the Bakers and Wiener Makers, the
Wiener Makers would come steal all the Baker's pigs to supply food for their army.
And as we all know, Bakers are notorious Pig-Fuckers. So to spite the Wiener Makers
for having taken their Saturday night penis refuge, the Bakers decided to start
making buns in packs of 10, thereby eternally fucking with Wiener eater heads.
Wouldn't mind sticking his all beef mouth-filler, into some toasty split buns right
about now, Nash

OK, for once I have absolutely NO FUCKING CLUE as to what you are talking about.
Your about 30 shades of vague there with your Q. You talking bout your wife, your
kitten, Brittney Spears...."oh please God, let it be her", or some random victim ya
plan on taking out?? I mean, whatever the fuck gets your nipples hard is fine by me,
just make sure to do it far away from me....I'm currently wearing a white t-shirt, and
blood stains are a bitch to get out, trust me.
P.S. I like The L.A. Strippers -vs- The Milwaukee Midgets...that my friends would be
one hell of a game.
Dazed, Confused, and somewhat Horny, Nash

MCSean writes: Nash, DUDE you are doing a great job with this ask NASH ! Keep up
the good work. I have a quick legitimate question. Is it a bad idea to have a tattoo
contest for only the ladies, just a month after the failuar of "WIN A DATE WITH MC
SEAN"? Do you think anyone wants to WIN prizes and a trophy? All a lady has to do
is go to the front page of the SLAMEVIL.COM site and send in a picture of
themselves with thier tattoo... HOW HARD IS THAT?

Awww, come on now....the "Win a Date with MC Sean" contest wasn't a total failure.
I'm sure there were a few women, and confused young men that responded with
the best of intentions to date you. This Tattoo contest were doing now though is a
no-brainer...unless you have a tattoo of a brain, which needless to say is just
fucking weird, but all you ladies out there have to do is take some pics of yer Tat,
and send em in. How can ya pass up the opportunity to win prizes and a trophy for
showing off yer Tat?? I mean shit....you'd show it off in a bar with enough drinks in
ya anyways, and the only thing ya win then is a possible STD from the guy ya showed
it to. So please ladies, show us your goods, so that we may give ya some of ours =)
P.S. I feel I have to warn you though...if you weigh around 400-500lbs., and have a
tat that says something like "Sexy Bitch" or somewhere along those lines, I'm gonna
be all over you like an Ethiopian on a Big Mac. Trust me, it wont be pretty.
Waiting eagerly for the contestants to start rollin in, Nash

KSV writes: Nash, I love your shit, too. You are the Wolverine to my Cyclops. (which means
YOU'RE the one they want on magizine covers.Bitch!) My question is: Is it totally pointless to
plug your website ON YOUR FUCKING WEBSITE? It just seems weird. PS, for more excitement,
click here, here, here and here.

Well KSV your the Admin for this wonderful site, and for being such I respect ya a great deal.
But wtf is up with calling me Wolverine?? You trying to squeeze a furry Italian joke in on me, ya
Harry Potter looking motherfucker!! LOL, but seriously though, I don't think it's pointless at all.
Hell, I whore myself out on Myspace, and various other Forums all the time, mainly because I'm
narcissistic, but to also keep people in the know. Were all aware that attention spans are
dwindling fast in this day and age, so that if we don't constantly plug ourselves every chance
we get, there's a likely chance it'll be forgotten. So I say, HELLS YEA, plug the shit out of
everything, everywhere. With that being said, if your reading this, then that means you have
found the Ask Nash section here at Slamevil.com, and as we all know, the only way to avoid
going to Hell, is to read Ask Nash section and have it memorized for Judgment day.
I think I'm visually more like Gambit, only without the whole Red-eyes thing...oh, and with a
much larger penis. Nash

Bored@Home writes: What's up with people nowadays?
comments = I have this issue that I need some help with. My significant other keeps going out
all of the time without me, and then when I call them they won't answer their cell. So what's up
with that??? Is there something going on or should I just sit back and let this keep happening
without bitching too much? Please help me for the sake of my sanity!

LOL, well my wife swears she didn't send in this question, but I really wonder....Oh well. I guess
it all really boils down to trust. Either you trust the person or ya don't. Simple as that. I mean
maybe they are out there getting their genitals licked clean, or maybe they're exactly where they
said they were gonna be. I know alot of times when I'm out, I can't hear my phone, cuz chances
are if I'm not at home, I'm somewhere where there's LOUD music blaring. Oh, and don't lose any
sanity over it, you'll discover that if even if they are runnin round, don't get all bent out of
shape, there are always plenty of fish in the sea....and if fish isn't what ya want, there's also
goats, bears, cows, or whatever else ya want. So chin up, could be worse. They could be out DJ'
ing at a bowling alley....
If you love someone, let them go, and if they come back, then you know it was meant to be....but
if they come back with a couple of hot friends, that's just fucking magically delicious =
Nash

Hey man!! How's it hanging? I haven't seen you since Summer Camp years ago. Jason and Freddy
finally announced their engagement, everyone knew, just no one said anything hehe. Oh, and
Michael Myers called me the other day, but ya know him, never was much of a talker. Good times
man....good times. Well, enough reminiscing, let's see what I can do to help. Chainsaws are
definitely a bitch to clean. Easiest way Ive found is to remove the chain completely, and just let it
soak in a tub full of bleach, works every time for me. Then ya can just wipe down the rest of it,
with a damp cloth. I would also suggest to sharpen your chain on a bi-weekly basis. Bone tends
to be pretty dense, and will dull your chain quick as shit. We all definitely need to get back
together sometime. Miss you guys like Jason misses the beach...hehe j/k, later 'face.
Love my killers, but where's my bitches, Nash

Yes I have, but now I ask you a question. Have you ever seen a midget fist a goat dressed in a
Superman cape, while masturbating with sandpaper, all the while being video taped by a 300lb
Russian woman that has one leg, a 3inch clit, and more body hair than an Italian Bigfoot? Trust
me, there are some things that are only worth seeing 6 or 7 times....
Wonders if the real question should have been "Have your seen my Music career lately?"
Nash

Nashophyle writes: When are you gonna ditch all these losers and start your own thing, I mean
these guys are holding you back. You are obviously the greatest talent on this ridiculous little
website. Where can we send you tribute? What sacrifices do you prefer from your followers?
Command us O'Lord

Now now, I wouldn't be anything without all my Dr. Vern and Company homies. But your on the
right track with me being the greatest talent, only thing is, it's not the greatest talent on the
website....it's the greatest talent on the face of the fucking planet! I'm a
Ninja/Columnist/Performer/DJ/Surveyor/Dad/Evil Genius....oh!, and my Penis is HUGE!!!, just ask
your sister, or your uncle, whichever is closest to ya. As far as tribute is concerned, all I ask is
that you tell all your friends about Slamevil.com, and all the wisdom that is shared there, and let
all your hot chick friends about our Tattoo contest that's going on. As far as sacrifices are
concerned, just sacrifice your bank account to me. Strippers and blow are getting expensive
nowadays, and you want me at the top of my game right?? Finally, my only command is to spread
the knowledge of Slamevil to all that will lend an ear....and if they don't lend it, fuckin take it from
them! Ahh yes, almost slipped my mind, don't forget that June 6th is Nash Day! That punk ass
Satan was gonna try and nab it for himself, but I He-bitched Man slapped that A-hole straight
back to Hell.
Kicks himself in the ass, for forgetting about a ritualistic Orgy, Nash

Well, looks like this is gonna have to be a case of tough love. The next time someone starts
making fun of your boyfriend, just join in on it. With enough emotional battery, he's sure to
crack, start sup-suppin , and bellow "OK, I confess!!, I Love the Mangina!!!" at which point
he'll probably drop to his knees, and start plunging your Purple-headed warrior all the way
down to his kidneys, just because he'll feel so relieved, and need to show some sort of
public display of vindication......or he'll wait till you get back to the house, cram a shotgun up
your ass, pull the trigger, fuck your remains for 20-30 minutes, then put the shotgun in his
mouth and make a modern art painting all over your pastel walls. Meh, either way your
getting "Blown away"....
Only has skeletons in his closet....Nash