ANA7

Don't know whats sadder...the question, or the fact that I know EXACTLY what movie your
talking about...im just gonna have to say theyre in fact equally depressing....
P.S. And yes the movie sucked as much as a lone choir-boy in the Vatican
Signed Nash Uranus

King Hippo writes: Somehow I made it home, like in that Madonna song, only I think
the words are different. Oh yes, a question. What was the deal with that green shoe
thing in Mario 3? It's a shoe, it's not God! Why was it so all powerful? Whose idea
was that? "Hey, let's put a magic shoe in this stage for no good reason"
Fuck a reason, King Hippo

Well the first draft of the game had you jumping into a giant canolli, but the programmers
felt that it would have been a little too stereotypical of Italians..I mean shit, what Italian
man out there HASN'T enjoyed jumping into a giant bowl of canolli, I know I have. SO the
programmers decided to go way out into left-field and decided on an object that wouldn't
offend anyone....unless you were an Italian Shoe-maker, but who really gives a shit as to
what they think anyways?
P.S. Now I gotta ask you a question...WTF is up with those band-aids on your stomach???
Did ya just an appendectomy or sumthin?
Looks like Don Fleminco, but hits like the Sandman, Nash

Anonymous Dr. Vern&Co Co-Owner writes: OK, NASH ! Your getting to big for your
WAL-Mart stretchy paints ! Remember WE would be nothing with out DR. VERN himself !
Don't make me turn this into ASK Rich ! Oh , wait that would requier him to have a
computer, scratch that last statment. You are doing a FINE JOB ! Your raise is in the
mail...

That is sooo true. None of us would be here, if not for Dr. Vern himself.....literally, he
started developing sperm in his testicles at the young age of 2. Apon hearing about this,
numerous women that were having trouble conceiving sought out the young yogurt
slinger. Being as he was so young, he remembers little, to none of this. So yes, let's
hear it for Vern, cuz without him, half of Polk County might not even exist.
P.S. You could ask Rich to do this, but this gig takes balls.....
Knows some will get that joke, Nash

C. Kent writes: Mr. NASH; Hi, I have a question for you. See, I have this friend that has,
let’s say a split personality. I think he might be gay. “NOT THAT THERE IS ANYTHING
WRONG WITH THAT” See, my friend is a super, man but he is always coming out of
closets. I think he is repressing is own sexuality. He clams to have a girl friend, we will
call her LL to keep my friends anonymity, but I never see them kiss, hug, or do mushy
stuff. He always is talking about this bald man down the street and sneaks off to see him
almost everyday. My friend wears tights and is adamant about wearing his Speedo on
the out side of his cloths. He is always distant from me, like he is from another planet or
something. Does it sound like my friend is gay? Don’t you think this seems kind of
bizzar, OH! One more thing, he is always flying off to see his friend, BRUCE, in the big
city north of here. The strange thing about his “friend” is he always has a young boy
hanging around , day and night. I hate him flying off on a dark night! Do you think this is
a joke, or do you think I’m being two faced to my friend’s sexuality?

Closet homosexuality....fake girlfriend.....hanging out with a pedophile....those I could
understand, but wearing Speedos on the OUTSIDE of one's pants!!!!! That's
unforgivable!! It is hearby your duty to kill your friend. You'll be doing him a favor, trust
me. Choose any way ya want, just be sure he doesnt get up, for any "sequels".
Gah...speedos on the outside...what a fucking monster.
Look! Up sky!! It's a Ninja!, no it's a Male Supermodel!!, nope, it's only Nash

Sorry Will, but there's no fucking way that I could be your man-wife. 1.) I'm not gay 2.) I have no clue,
as to who the fuck you are to begin with. and finally, but probably most importantly 3.) I will NEVER,
NEVER be able to find love in another man's hairy asshole....sorry, but just cant do it. Don't fret
though, there are plenty of other guys out there, that are gay, and look almost as good as I do.
Is an exit only kinda guy, Nash

Billy Boe writes: Why do women think that terms like Slut, bitch and skank are so bad? I mean i feel
that they are terms of respect..such as at the bank i always say goodbye to the teller like this "Thank
you bitch, have a skanky day slut.." and they usualy give me the blank stare of delight.. sooo another
question arises..why are bank tellers comfortable with the terms and not other skanks/sluts...hollar
back player!

This ones easy enough. Everyone knows that bank-tellers are not really human, but cyborgs.
Humans would be FAR too tempted to grab some "extra" cash while working in a bank, so that's why
we have cyborg tellers. So that's why the Bank-Bitches don't seem to respond to being called
names, none of them have an emotion chip. Now lets say you try that same phrase down in...oh lets
say Club Kathleen. I'm generally not a betting man, but id put 100$ on you wearing your bottom lip as
a hat if ya tried to pull that shit with some real people. But I would love to see ya try, if but for shits
and giggles.
Isn't a cyborg, but his penis is a machine, Nash

"I'm not telling you my name" writes: Hey, I got this “FRIEND” who totally sold me out the other day.
He stole my idea for a really cool segment on our company’s web site. He is now telling everyone it
was his idea and is totally mocking me about it. I really don’t have a problem with this, as he is more
talented in coming up with bullshit about people in his stories than I am. I just want to FUCK with his
head about it. Can you give me some pointers on how to get into the mind of a 26 year old Walgreen’
s employee with visions of GRANDUER and a PSP fetish?

To get into the mind of a 26 year old Walgreen's employee, is much the same as getting into the mind
of a 45 year old Walmart greeter, or the mind of a 10 year old girl. All you need is a table with leather
strap/restraints, and a cordless power drill. I say cordless because, you don't want to have to fuss
with the person on the table grabbing it....'cause believe it or not, they're probably not feeling all
that super about you drilling a hole into their brain. Once ya got them strapped in, proceed to
"getting into their mind"....Ive found that if you go in, from one of the temple areas, it's much easier,
and hardly bogs the drill down at all.
Was hostile, before the movie "Hostile" was ever thought about being made, Nash

Yes he is, as well as your daddy/uncle/cousin. Gene pool is kinda slim in those parts. Oh btw, if you
do decide to get a divorce, be careful. We all know that Bartow men have no qualms about killing
their spouses should they get out of line, and fucking their corpse. Welcome to Polk county......
Suddenly remembered he was born in Bartow....fuck.....,Nash

That's easy, because people suck. Honestly, if a virus came, and wiped out 75% of the worlds
population, I wouldn't even bat a fucking eye. Mind you, I'm talking about people in general, not
individuals such as you, and I, or for anyone that shows some sort of independent thought like my
loyal Ask Nash readers. I'm talking about the great stinking mass of ignorant automatons that
plague this fucking planet. Unfortunately, it is going to take some catastrophic event, in order for
the world to pull it's head out of it's own ass, long enough to realize what's truly important.....and
sadly, by then, it may already be too late....fuck that was depressing...I need to go jack off, or watch
some cartoons now....or maybe both =)
Will ALWAYS be outside the norm, and you love it bitches! Nash

Martini's regular writes: Nash, i'm a regular at Martini's and i love ya'lls show. There is one person
though that i want to know about. Who the fuck does Bulldog think he is? He walks around like he's
mr bad ass and wouldn't let me into the bar for the gong show unless i paid 5 bucks!! Tell him the
next time i see him i'm going to kick his ass!!

Yes I know Bulldog, he's a good friend of mine. As far as making ya pay 5 bucks to get into
Martini's...it's called a cover charge. I know 5 bucks seems pretty steep to a Martini's regular, but
trust me, anytime Dr. Vern and Company put on a show it's worth at least $6.31, so just pay the
fuckin cover. Now, as to the reason why Bulldog walks around like he's a badass, it's because he
has a tiny penis, and must make up for it with an aura of kick-assery.....Much like a Peacock.
Thinks he's worth Tree-fitty, Nash

Bulldog writes: First off "Grrr WOOF" Bulldog in the house. Just wanted to say to all my Dr. Vern and
Co. Bro's and Sis's That the site is awesome and my ol' lady and I love ya'll. Ok, Nash, Who would win
in a fight KSV or M.C. Sean?

Hola Bulldog, longtime no see. Funny, I just answered a question concerning you...anywho, so the
question has finally been asked, KSV vs MC Sean. I think it would go down a little something like
this....Upon measuring each other up, the 2 fighters would then immediately start flailing their arms
at each other, eventually MC Sean's wrists would snap, due to his need to no longer masturbate,
and having stopped power-lifting years ago. Whereas KSV's wrists are like Conan the Barbarian's.
Capitalizing on his foe's injuries, KSV would then go for one of his patented Luchadore type
maneuvers, but being the KSV that he is, he would more than likely miss, landing on his insulin pen,
thereby injecting way too much into his system, causing him to fall unconscious due to the sudden
drop in his sugar levels, followed shortly by MC Sean collapsing on top of him, and passing out
from excruciating pain. Draw
Could kick both of their asses...so long as a good stiff breeze didn't blow, and knock him on his ass.
Nash

Ok, you know it's really hard to understand you, if you don't take the brains outta your mouth. I
swear, you zombies are dumb sum-bitches sometimes. But to answer your question, yes I am just
as hot in real life, and yes, I do kill zombies on sight. I'm not prejudiced....I'm just a natural born
Zombie Killing machine.
Thinks Bub was Way cooler, Nash

The "Pimp Hand" is well.....lets just say it's a tool used to reiterate certain points. Say for instance
that someone spills a drink on you in a club, and you want to show your disappointment. Just cock
back your Pimp Hand, and let it fly, this way the person that spilled the drink will quickly
understand their fopa. Actually the Pimp Hand can be used for any occasion, it's versatility is
limitless. As far as why people wanna know how yours is doing, it's probably because they are just
concerned, especially if you haven't let it fly in some decent amount of time.
Has the Pimpiest of Pimp Hands, Nash