ANA8

Yes
Praises to all those with nothing else better to do, because without their support Ask
Nash would have failed miserably, thereby causing me to begin a downward spiral that
would eventually end up with me laying dead on the floor, curled into the fetal position,
with an Ipod filled with depressing songs stuck in my ears, surrounded by empty gallon
jugs of chocolate milk.....God Bless all you sick fucks, I love you.....and damn I miss
chocolate milk...diabetes sucks ass. Nash

Well, it's nice to see your not embittered by the whole situation....fuck, ya think ya could
squeeze in maybe 13-14 more adjectives in there? Anywho, if this person is such a bad
influence on your friend, that you feel this strongly about it, then for fuck's sake do
something about it....or just go rub one out with a cheese grater, either way I'm a winner.
Wonder's at which point does a person need advice, or if they just need a baseball bat
named "Common Sense" driven into their face. Nash

Well then you "accidentally" take her on a deep sea fishing trip, then you "accidentally"
wrap her legs to the anchor rope. Then you "accidentally" toss the anchor overboard,
before you've secured the anchor to the boat....or you can just become a Mormon, and
start a baby-factory. At least you won't have to hirer a babysitter anymore.
Often wonders if there's any Green-eyed, Black-haired kids out there from his
Manwhoring days. Nash

Ivannet Wong writes: My boyfriend and I have been together for a couple months and
just recent, we have chosen to become intimate. It was during this encounter that I ran
into a minor, well actually major problem. You see my boyfriends piece was bent in
three places. It made it rather difficult on me to accomodate him and has lead to some
neck problems for me. I'm concerned about our future endevours given my
hemophelia. Any suggestions?

I got a few suggestions, believe it or not. One, ya can just get him to lay his piece on
the dining table, and go to town on it with a rubber mallet...not unlike someone
working at a body shop. Two, you can go the professional route via plastic surgery,
cause every guy out there just loves it when doctors ram surgical instruments into
their dick, or Third, and my personal favorite, just shut the fuck up with all the whining,
and bellyaching and take it like the dirty, dirty girl you are, and deal with the
repercussions afterward. Trust me....there is ALWAYS going to be an awkward moment
during sex, in some part of your life, and if not....then I fucking hate you =)
Wished his dick bent in three places sometimes....Nash

I think those people have really long arms...I mean, if they can stand in front of you,
without being belly to belly with you, and can still manage to reach behind you with a
knife, and be able to stab you with it, they must be one long-armed sunofabitch. And if
you just stand there, while they're doing it, well then, you earned that one.
But if your talking in the metaphorical sense, call them out on it. If your adult enough
to be here on Ask Nash, then by all means, your adult enough to call people out on
shit. Don't know about you, but my high school days are long gone.
Often smiles at the back of women's heads....Nash

Ahhhh, another of my old summer camp buddies. Well Pinnie, you would probably
wanna check your local Hell Depot, Lucifer's, or Whitts Supply.....I never understood
why ya put those damn things in your head anyways....You turn into such a little bitch
sometimes when women don't call you back....then ya get all huffy, "Mebe if I hurt
myself, they'll notice me", and again with the fucking nails. They're just not worth it
bro, besides, ya live in Hell now. I'm sure the joint is jumping with tons of women
with morals similar to my own. Chin up man, could be worse, there could be a
speaker magnet Cenobite...
Knows he's going to Hell, but dammit, he's gonna enjoy the ride there. Nash

Honestly, Ive learned all my Ninja combat training from going to the Mall on
several Back Monday sales....I mean fuck, you haven't seen insane Ninja combat,
until you see 2 chicks battle over a $50 Prada purse. All Ive ever needed to do, is
show up with a cam corder, pencil,paper, and plenty of food and drink. I then kick
back and watch the brutality begin, taking notes on certain maneuvers, grimacing
at some of the raging battles, making sure to capture as much of the carnage as I
possibly can on tape. I then return home, and begin practicing these new moves,
and train, so that one day, maybe I can score that cute matching top/skirt combo,
but as of yet I'm still a grasshopper and would be utterly destroyed if I were to try
now.
Knows real blood is shed when money and women are involved, Nash

Bored and Unsatisfied writes: Men just don't seem to satisfy me anymore. I want
to graze on the same side of the fence if ya know what I mean, and would like to
get my best friend in bed with me, but I believe she's straight as an arrow. Any
thoughts on how to break that arrow? Or is this just a bad idea all together?

Hmmmm....my suggestion would be to first, get her terribly drunk, drop a couple
of X's in her drink and go from there....but if ya wanna be all legal and shit, I
guess ya should kinda feel her out....by that I mean, drop some lines on her, and
gauge her response...stuff like "She looks beautiful, I bet she works out." or "
She has the most gorgeous eyes", or "Damn! I sure would like to fist the shit out
of her box!" Then plot your next move, according to her reactions. Remember,
the KISS method is always sound. KEEP IT SIMPLE SAPHO!
Isn't a lesbian trapped in a man's body, he's a raging, pussy-loving animal,
trapped in a skinny Italian's body. Nash

Eternal Despair writes: I've been with this chick for about two years, everything
was great, hell perfect, for about the first six months. Then, she did a fuckin
one-eighty on me. To make matters worse, I knocked her up. Before I knew it, I
was faced with the dreaded decision of leaving her and maintaining my sanity,
or signing the papers of doom, and imprisoning my soul. With the
announcement of the engagement, several showed looks of concern instead of
happiness. I should have questioned myself then. Oblivious to the warnings
then, and now realizing with each passing day an ounce of me fades. I begin to
feel to more like clay, the original form I once had, crafted to what she sees fit.
With all that being said, my question to you is: Should I stay with her, imprisoned
by her nagging, bitching, whining-ass rants, and the stress of the new baby,
along with the fears of financial doom, or cut dead weight and gain back who I
once was so that I can be a better father to my child? I know this is a serious
question, but I have searched site after site looking for an answer. Both friends
and family take a firm stand against her alienating me which, in turn, leaves me
miserably STUCK with THE BITCH. What should I do? Just looking for some good
advice and laughter too, Its been a while since I truly laughed.
Toe on the shotgun trigger, wishing I'd only pulled out, Eternal Despair

Well, you seemed to have put quite a bit of thought into this question, and it's
something that has truly seemed to rock your core. So I'm going to do something
that I've never done before, here on Ask Nash. I'm going to give you my honest,
little black heart felt opinion. About 5 years ago, I was in a relationship, and we
had a 2 year old daughter at the time. I was miserable. She partied and had a
good time every night, while I would get off work, pick up my daughter, go home,
cook dinner, wash dishes, bathe my daughter, read to her,put her to bed,
shower myself, go to bed, and repeat for what seemed like an eternity. I know
what some of you are thinking. I'm a single parent and I do that all the time. Trust
me, I have nothing but respect for you, but when your supposed to be in a
"relationship", certain things are to be expected, like helping to take care of
your child...sorry, I digress. Basically I needed to make a decision. Do I remain in
a pointless relationship, that was only going to cause my daughter more harm
than good in the long run. Or do I continue to live a lie. Although it wasn't easy, I
made the decision to leave my ex, and take care of my daughter alone. Friends
and family helped, sure, but they can only do so much. I'm not gonna lie to you.
It's very hard, and there's gonna be times that you question your decision. But if
you continue to live a lie, your going to wind up a miserable, empty shell. And
that my friend, isn't very fun at all.
Knows that whatever doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger, Nash